So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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