At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
