I like my sex mixed with concussions.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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