I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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