What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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