he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
