Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
