i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
