somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
