Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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