I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
tell me about the eggs
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
