We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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