He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
