I never want to see another naked old woman again.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
