just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize