i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i love accidental penises.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
