she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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