Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
