I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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