I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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