My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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