Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Dicks are not precious.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize