idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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