brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
