i think i have herpe
just one?
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize