I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
