That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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