dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
did i walk over a car last night?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
