It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
