How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
