Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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