it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Randomize
