Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Randomize
