Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
