I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
