Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize