He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I am one with the molecules
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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