i just had sex bonerless
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Floor bacon is actually really good
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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