"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
