She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
