I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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