In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
