We're facebook friends in real life
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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