In the future we'll all be gay
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
