I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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