too bad you live with your parents still
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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