can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
