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she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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