respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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