After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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