its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
