I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
