the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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