I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I understand Curling. That high.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize