BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
