I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
