Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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