"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
