He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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