in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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